Corrupt a Wish

Granted but you live in the basement.

I wish I had a larger sword collection.

Sure, but all the swords are the size of toothpicks.

I wish I had at least some measure of magic.

Wish Granted, but this measure is too much for your mind or your body to handle, and you are sent tumbling into a coma for the rest of your life.

I wish I was physically fit and totally healthy!

granted, but u had to use steriods to keep ur fit shape

I wish i was i Hobo

Granted, but you are stabbed by muggers who for some reason think you have something of worth.

I wish I could keep eating cake with out getting sick or fat.

Granted but the cake is a lie, so it fades from existence before it hits your stomach.

I wish I was the richest man in the universe.

Granted, you allot millions upon millions of currency, not only from all over the world, but from all over the universe. You are the envy of everyone ever, and you literally roll in money when you go to bed at night. Then, a greedy heir kills you.

I wish I could have Dr. Pepper that didn't have caffeine.

Granted, but that Dr. Pepper tastes like water...

I wish I was understood by people...

Granted but they understand you too well and you can no longer harbor secrets.

I wish I could split my soul in order to live forever.

Granted... except as your soul keeps splitting, you become more and more unstable.

I wish I could create a world of my own, where people can just... get along.

Granted but the humans eventually begin to reject the world as conflict is part of human nature. Wars break out everywhere and the world is eventually wiped out.

I wish pokemon were real.

Granted... except your own Metagross eats you.

I wish I had an Ultima Cannon.

Granted but the cannon backfires and kills you.

I wish I was the wisest man on earth.

Granted... except you know too much. *snipes you*

I wish I was bulletproof, to avoid the above example.

Granted but you are encased completely in adamantium and thus you die of adamantium poisoning.

I wish I was king of the planet.

Granted but the people will revolt against you.

I wish I was immortal.

Granted... except you have to live for eternity. And that comes with a lot of pain, with death never coming to release you from it.

I wish I... @#$%, I wish I knew what to wish for!

Granted but... well you know the joke,
I wish my computer would have worked.

Granted... except it can't even calculate pi to three places.

I wish Durandal could prove successful.

Granted, but it's so successful, everything is overloaded with awesomeness, and all the data having to do with Durandal becomes corrupted from sheer awesomeness.

I wish I had one million dollars.

Granted... until inflation hits, rendering it as useless as the German mark after WWI.

I wish Final Fantasy Versus XIII was already out.

Granted but it sucks bad. Really bad.
I wish I was good looking.

Granted... except everyone else looks better than you.

I wish that I could see a shooting star.

Granted, but said shooting star is flying straight towards you, and proceeds to crash into your house, destroying all your possessions and whatever else was in there.

I wish I could turn into a wolf.

Granted but you end up only half wolf.

I wish I had the power of perception.