Mad Comedy: A Keshin Series-Episode One: Manic Medicine

Description: Mania has gotten sick and now it is up to Dementia, Schizophrenia, Phobia, and Kleptomania to get him better again. Only thing standing in their way is one small fact, there are no doctors in Nifelheim! So, this group must take their sick comrade to the only place they can think of: The Mortal World!



~The Demonic Realm Nifelheim~
Mania: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Dementia: *she tosses a bit in her bed, which is directly under Mania's* Nyyya.....shut up, Mania!
Mania: UUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH...........
Dementia: *she gets up, angry* ALRIGHT, YOU IDIOT! YOU'VE BEEN GROANING ALL NIGHT! WHAT IS WR-*she goes up to look at Mania. His skin has turned a dark shade of green, he's covered in rainbow dots, and his tongue has black and white stripes on it*..............
Mania: UUUUGGGGHHHHH......Dementia.....I don't feel so good.....
Dementia: *she lowers herself back to her bed* Nope.
Mania: Please, Dementia! You have to help me...
Dementia: Will it shut you up?
Mania: I'm so sick, I'll probably be taken to a hospital....you won't have to worry about me at all tonight. I'd be so-*before he can finish, Dementia has dashed out the door at top speed*
Dementia: HELP! HELP! SOMEONE HELP! MANIA'S SICK! *she has a wide smile on her face.* HELP HELP OH SOMEBODY HELP!
Kleptomania: *he is walking with Schizophrenia and talking with him* So I tell the girl I'm parked over by the commissary-
Schizophenia: *he and Kleptomania are knocked down by Dementia as she ran into them* Ow.....whats wrong Dementia?
Kleptomania: Yeah, you seem to be in a rush for something good. Whats up?
Dementia: *she grabs both of them and shakes them happily* MANIA'S SICK!
Kleptomania (at the same time as Schizophrenia): THEN WHY ARE YOU BEING HAPPY?! *he has a large anime angry head with anger vein*
Schizophrenia (at the same time as Kleptomania): THEN WHY ARE YOU BEING HAPPY?! *all three of his heads are large, have white circles for eyes, sharp teeth, and have anger veins*
Dementia: Because he'll have to go to the hospital and I won't have to deal with him for an ENTIRE NIGHT! *she puts her hands together and smiles dreamily*
Kleptomania: YOU'RE GOING TO HELL FOR THIS FOR SURE!
Schizophrenia: There's just one tiny problem with your plan, Dementia.
Dementia: Oh? And whats that?
Schizophenia (all heads at once): There are no doctors in Nifelheim.
Dementia: *her body goes white* Now I'll have to wait for that idiot to die....he'll stink up the room!
Kleptomania: SINCE WHEN WAS THAT AN OPTION?! Look, we'll help ya. And I know just the Keshin who can help us get to where we need to go!
*5 minutes later*
Phobia: You guys really want me to help you get into the mortal world? why?.....
Kleptomania: Because you're the best at casting portals, Phobia. Only one better than you is Lord Abyssion. And he's......well....

~Late last night~
Abyssion: I'M OFF TO THE PUB! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY COMPLAINTS TONIGHT!
*A few hours later*
Abyssion: *he's dragged into the base by Paranoia and Megalomania*
Kleptomania, Dementia, Phobia, Nymphomania: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HIM?!
Megalomania: He got so drunk he lost his powers and challenged some guy to a bar fight. The guy took a bar stool and hit Lord Abyssion across the back.
Kleptomania: He knocked Lord Abyssion out?!
Paranoia: No. Abyssion just wheeled around and cracked him in the jaw. Human cops showed up and fired tranquilizer darts into him. Lord Abyssion went down with about enough tranque in him to kill a blue whale.
Abyssion: *out from his mouth floats the words "Out Cold" In the form of a smoke screen*

~Present time~
Kleptomania: Yeah....lets not go into it...
Phobia: So whats the cause for this?
Dementia: *still giddy* Mania's terribly sick!
Phobia: THAT'S NO REASON TO BE GIDDY!
Dementia: Oh, don't be a wet blanket, Phobia! *she pats Phobia on the back*
Phobia: Let me guess, you want to take him to a Mortal Doctor?
Kleptomania: If it can help him, yes.
Phobia: And how many of us are going?
Kleptomania: Me, Dementia, Mania, Schizophrenia, and you.
Phobia: Alright. *he holds out his hands and a portal opens* There you have it.
Kleptomania: You're a genius, little brother!
Phobia: *he blushes and rubs the back of his head* Gosh....shut up, Klepto!
Schizophrenia: *he is carrying Mania like a sack* He sure is HEAVY!
Kleptomania: Hurry up, Schizo! We gotta get him better before Abyssion wakes up!
Dementia: Why's that?
Kleptomania: Who do you think he'll blame for Mania being sick? Hmmmmm?

~Inside Dementia's head~
Abyssion: DEMENTIA YOU IDIOT! HOW COULD YOU LET YOUR PARTNER DIE FROM ILLNESS! I'LL HAVE YOU STUFFED AND MOUNTED ON MY WALL!

~Reality~
Demenita: *she franticly pushes Schizophrenia into the portal* HURRY HURRY HURRY HURRY!

~The Mortal World~
Kleptomania: *the group is now standing outside a human hospital* So this is a human health area?
Phobia: Yep.....I don't want to go in there.
Dementia: Why?
Phobia: *he shrinks and looks up timidly yet cutely at Dementia* I'm afraid of needles...
Dementia: *she nearly melts from Phobia's adorableness but then she snaps out of it*
Kleptomania: Don't worry, Phobia. We'll be with you and a needle won't go anywhere near you.
Phobia: *he hops over and hugs Kleptomania* Thank you, big brother!
*the group enters the human hospital*
Receptionist: *she looks up at the group and raises an eyebrow* A little early for Holloween, isn't it?
Kleptomania: My friend here *gestures to Mania* Is very sick. We'd like to see a doctor.
Receptionist: *she takes one look at Mania* Sheesh! He must be sick if his costume looks like that! How does he walk with no legs?
Kleptomania: MY GOOD LADY! DO NOT IMPOSE SUCH THINGS ON HIS MIND! HE IS A SICK WAR VETERAN! HE LOST HIS LEGS FIGHTING FOR YOUR RIGHTS AND FREEDOM! FRANKLY, I AM OFFENDED! I SHOULD CALL THE VETERAN'S UNION RIGHT NOW!
Receptionist: *she quickly moves to shut Kleptomania up* Sorry! I didnt' mean to offend! I'll call the doctor right away! *she presses a button. Out walks a small man in a white coat* Doctor Fineberg, this poor war veteran is sick. He needs immediate attention. Or else they say they'll call the union...
Fineberg: Oh boy not that group again...Alright, come with me, Gentlemen.
Dementia: I'm a woman!
Fineberg: Sorry. Just come with me. *Five minutes later, they are in a room with a medical bed and cabinets. The doctor is standing on a stool, examining Mania.* Tell me, sir, where are you experienceing pain?
Mania: EVERYWHERE....
Fineberg: I see....please lift up your robes.
Mania: *he lifts up his robe. The doctor goes to put a stethiscope on Mania's chest*
Mania's Heart: *its imprint pokes out from the skin* YOU TOUCH ME WITH THAT AND I'LL GIVE YOU SUUUUUUCH A PINCH!
Fineberg: *he jumps* what was that thing?!
Mania: My heart....
Fineberg: *he places the stethiscope on Mania's chest. Suddenly, the outline of a hand pops out of Mania's skin and pinches the doctor in the arm* OUCH!
Mania's heart: I WARNED YA!
Fineberg: *he looks aggrivated* Now see here! if this is some kind of trick, I'm calling the police!
Kleptomania: Nonononono, Doctor! We don't need that! Mania will behave. Right, Mania?
Mania: yes....
Fineberg: *he eyes them warilly and then goes and takes out an old-fasioned thermometer* Open wide, please.
Mania: *he opens his mouth and Fineberg puts the thermometer into his mouth.*
Fineberg: Now, I'll just get everything else ready...*he turns around and starts getting the different tools ready.*
Mania: *he moves the thermometer in his mouth a bit and them a crunching sound comes out from his mouth. The thermometer starts to disappear into his mouth and the crunching grows louder.*
Fineberg: *he turns back around, the thermometer in Mania's mouth gone.* Where did that thermometer go?!
Mania: that candy you put in my mouth? I ate it.
Fineberg: THAT WAS A THERMOMETER, YOU MORON! IT WAS TO TAKE YOUR TEMPERATURE!
Mania: Well on the bright side it was delicious. KISHISHISHISHISHI!
Dementia: *she looks at Mania* You seem to be feeling better.
Mania: KISHISHISHISHI! I think the stomach ache might be going away!
Fineberg: This is a long shot, but I think I know what to do. *he grabs a bucket of cold water and flings it on Mania. The green, the spots, and the stripes on his tongue, all disappear.*
Dementia: Wait....that was PAINT?!
Mania: Yeah.
Kleptomania: Okay, tell me Mania, what did you do last night?
Mania: Well, first I went to a carnival and got my body painted! but the guy grabbed another type of paint I didn't want and accidentally painted my tongue when I flicked it out to taste the air. Then I broke into the local ice cream factory and I ate my fill of bubblegum ice cream. It was a great night. Then I went back and fell asleep. Then I woke up and I had a stomach ache.
Dementia: So, you weren't terminally ill?
Mania: KISHISHISHISHI! It was you guys who said that, not me.
Dementia:..........*she grabs Mania around the neck and starts strangling him* YOU IDIOT! I'LL KILL YOU, YA HEAR ME?! I'LL KEEEEEEEEEEEEL YOU!
Mania: KISHISHISHISHISHISHI!
Kleptomania: *he facepalms and then feels a tap on his shoulder. Fineberg is standing behind him*
Fineberg: Now, about my bill...
Kleptomania: *he grabs Mania, and pulls Dementia, and Phobia with Schizophrenia running next to him. The group make a bolt for the door* FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!
Fineberg: SECURITY! STOP THEM! ARREST THOSE HOOLIGANS!
*a large group of burly security officers grab the Keshin and throw them into a large police waggon.*

~Prison~
Mania: *he creates a harmonica and starts playing a prison blues song.*
Dementia: *she is up on the wall, yanking at the bars* LET ME OUT, YOU SACKS OF PUSS!
Schizophrenia: *he's in the corner, playing poker with himself.*
Phobia: *he's hiding under a bed, his eyes darting back and forth and all around* Idon'twanttobeinprison Idon'twanttobeinprison Idon'twanttobeinprison....
Kleptomania: *he's leaning on a chair, watching TV* Well, this ain't so bad. Yeah, we can't use our powers. And sure, we're surrounded by hardened criminals and murderers, but this isnt' bad at all. At least we have a TV. *suddenly, a huge inmate puts his hands on Kleptomania's shoulder and chews on a toothpic on his mouth*
Inmate: Now....the way I see it, fresh meat.....its either your ass, or the remote....*he holds his hand out*
Kleptomania: *he smiles nervously at the big guy and hands him the remote* Oh look! how did that thing get in my hand? Its a mystery, ain't it?
Inmate: *he smiles, slaps Kleptomania in the head, and walks away.*
Dementia: *she jumps up to a window and sticks her head out of the bars.* My life officially sucks....*Standing below her is a tall blonde emo kid, a kid with short brown hair, and a skinny british kid with dyed black hair. They are all wearing Skrillex shirts and jeans. The british kid offers Dementia a cigarette and the brown haired kid uses a zippo lighter to light it for her*
Carl: Tell us about it, sister.

And thus ends the Pilot episode of the wacky adventures of the Keshin outside of the Geneforce Story Line. So, let me know, do you all think I should make this into a series to post weekly, or not? Leave a post and let me know!

-your friendly neighborhood hack, Zazul