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Ikari Rates* the Geneforce

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Ikari Rates* the Geneforce

Post by RKRobot on 4/2/2017, 3:08 am

How do you go from a trio of three, to a clusterfudge of interstellar mammalian supernaturals, and then split yourselves down the middle and now you're back to a smaller clusterfudge and occasionally partner up with a slightly bigger fudgecluster?

You create the Geneforce.

Hello, NewGenners, my name is Ikari, and I'm currently blogging about this from Lord Chris' computer lab located in his Castle on Sirhc, or X-17 if you're more familiar with its infamous coordinates.  I would use Tropic as a home base, but I'm pretty much noted as being DEAD there, and I'd much rather go somewhere with better wi-fi.  Anyway, back to the critique.

This is the most broken and yet tightest group of comrades I've ever had to deal with, personally.  First, we've got the original three, as they call themselves.  Genesis, Juliet and Emily, oh Sky King, where do I even begin?

Genesis, nerd of magic of wind or something is another one of us anthro rodents.  He's good at what he does and makes riding a stick like a surfboard look professional, but that brash stubborn attitude of his is way too much for me sometimes.  I mean, I respect his willingness to go beyond expectation, but the bro just overdoes every little thing!  Man, pace yourself better!  Otherwise, I guess he's a pretty upstanding showoff of a hero.  I wouldn't say he's better than another "hero" I know and hate, but at least he's got a bit of mystery.  I'm dying to know if he was the exact same way in his other lifetimes...

Then there's Juliet, oh, how I wish I could be her Romeo.  She's damn beautiful.  Like, seriously cute, but how does she even manage to make her life work?  Like I've seen what she does every day before, but that was before she went to magic school, got together and then promptly broke up with her holly-colored hero, then made a magic school of her own and then got back with Mr. Wind Pants?  I'm surprised she's not on some kind of medication for all the stress she must deal with every day of her life.  Damn girl.  Shout out to Mrs. Everything over there.

And of course I wouldn't forget Emily, who's actually grown on me since I met her.  I wondered why she was even allowed to leave her dysfunctional family (seriously, why did they wait so long to have this girl compared to her sister?) when her sister wasn't even of legal age to care for her.  Thankfully, Emily's pretty independent and does a lot more than just derp around the neighborhood- I mean the open field and then Brights Ville.  For real, she's outgoing and absolutely the poster child for cutesy mascot, but she got hella strong over time.  I think between her and her sister, she probably had it a bit easier since she was exposed to madness at a young age and just got used to it.

Now that we've gotten them outta the way, there's a butt-ton of others that I could include as part of the "new" Geneforce, but lemme get to the part where the otherworldly brats step in.

Kay so I did a bit of research here, so I'm gonna skip most of this information and cut right to the jackasses who joined Genesis' team, (I guess?).  We've got Princess of Ice Puns, Luna Matarex and her hot-blooded science experiment for a boyfriend, Blastion Brimagh.  By now, they have two little spawns of their own, but we'll get to them later.  Then there's the one with "chaos" literally in her name, Rocky the "I should've been dead years ago" Superhero.  Yeah, because she can only get stronger with the powers of FRIENDSHIP HURRRRR.  And finally Xanthos Ailuro, basically the rogue prince of the group who just can't accept his unfortunate reality and prefers going on adventures with his squad of misfits.

Note, I'm not bringing up Chris because not only is he not involved in this group at all, but on the off chance his randomness leads him to teaming up with them (which has happened by the way), he auto-roasts himself on a daily basis.  I don't even need to try when the guy is that self-aware.

So they have a bit of a quarrel and eventually say "okay, guys, together we can create a really cliché super team of losers to help combat evil across the universe!" and everyone's absolutely pumped.  Like, so pumped they start... not having adventures after that?  They just kinda split up for a while until just a few of them meet up at a time?  What the hell?  Some super team.  I mean, that's like making a club and then only having two or three members show up at once to discuss just a few things and then never speak of the club or incident again until one of the nerds needs to do something nerdy, NERD SIGNALS the other group members and gets some kind of response that he/she/them could work with.

Why does that sound familiar...?

Anyway, so these freaks aren't just waiting for a phone call to do stuff, so I guess they do have other things going on in their lives like fighting evil by moonlight, getting hitched, creating spawn, stopping a lot of horrible disasters they probably triggered in the first place, having emotional breakdowns and potentially creating new nations entirely dedicated to peace and tranquility.  Sounds kinda busy, I guess.

The kids are pretty annoying though.  Like, I can't stand the fact that they're just doing the same things their parents did when they were younger.  "Oh, you wanna be a hero like mommy and daddy?  Here's, take Baby's First Heroing Kit!  Have a good day at catching evil people, hunny!"  Where's the change in that?  Maybe if they just stuck them all on an island together they'd all become their own people with individual skills and personalities they gained trial and error as they attempt to get off said island.  That could work.  Or maybe I've just exposed my latest plan to get rid of them once and for all... Ooops.

So, Geneforce and Uniforce (yeah, that's the name of the split group of morons attempting to cover the other half of the galaxy), now that I've done my research on the modern update of you all (compared to what I've previously read), I'll be waiting on your next move.  Will you unite against the likes of me, Enzo, Gearic, Xero and Chris?  Or maybe you'll derp around elsewhere for another 20 years and your little brats with have little brats of their own?  Either way, we've got the time to wait for your decision.

I'm signing out now.  Got worlds to destroy.

~Ikari



*APRIL FOOLS LOVELIES~  This post is just a funny little stab at the years we've been together as friends and how much I've learned from you all.  It's a roast, yes, but I do really love you all and want there to be much more fun in our future together.  Keep creating and let's all collab again soon!  ^_^  <3

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Re: Ikari Rates* the Geneforce

Post by Genesis on 4/2/2017, 5:54 am

See, I know this is supposed to be a roast but its just too true.

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