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How Chris Ironically Stole Chris-mas

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How Chris Ironically Stole Chris-mas

Post by Luna on 12/24/2015, 5:37 am

And here I present this year's Geneforce Christmas story! A cute little twist on the Story of the Grinch. oddish!~


Every Being Down in Geneforce City Liked Christmas a lot...
But Chris,Who lived just up on X-17, Did NOT!
Chris hated Chris-mas! The whole Chris-mas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his cape was just too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his heart was two hundred sizes too small.
Whatever the reason, His heart or his cape,
He stood there on Chris-mas Eve, hating everyone else,
because come on; they were the good guys.
Staring down from his planet with a sour, Chris-y frown,
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every person down in Geneforce City beneath,
Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe and wreath.
"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is Chris-mas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Gloved fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Chris-mas from coming!"
For Tomorrow, he knew, all the girls and boys,
Would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their toys, or weaponry.
It really depends on what they asked for!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the heroes, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST!
FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would feast on pudding, and rare Snow-roast beast.
Which was something Chris couldn't stand in the least!
And THEN They'd do something He liked least of all!
Every person down in the city, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Chris-mas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the heroes would start singing!
They'd sing! And they'd sing! And they'd SING!
SING! SING! SING!
And the more Chris thought of the heroes that sing,
The more the Chris thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for... carry the 36, minus 12... TOO MANY years I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop this Chris-mas from coming! But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
CHRIS GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" Chris laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Chris trick!"
"With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!"
"All I need is a reindeer..." The Chris looked around.
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Chris? No! Chris simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
So he called on his clones. Then he took some red thread,
And he tied some big horns on the top of their heads.
THEN He loaded some bags And some old empty sacks,
On a ramshackle sleigh And he hitched up all those Enzo
Clones that he just kinda had laying around.
Then Chris said, "Giddap!" And the sleigh started down,
Toward the homes where the heroes Lay asnooze in their town.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the people were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.
When he came to the first little house on the square.
"This is stop number one," the old Chris Claus hissed,
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But, if Santa could do it, then so could Lord Chris.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.
Where the stockings all hung in a row.
"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
Machine guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!
Spellbooks! Motorcycles! Popcorn! And Rum!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then Chris, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the Heroes' feast!
He took the pudding! He took the Snow beast!
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, that Chris even took their last can of hash!
(Why, no one knows. No one really ate that shit anyways.)
Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned Chris, "I will stuff up the tree!"
And Chris grabbed the tree, and he started to shove,
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He then remembered a spell gone awry;
The Geneforce were now kids, he facepalmed and sighed.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small hero!
Little Blastion who was not more than two.
Chris had been caught by this tiny fox of fire,
Who'd got out of bed for an ironic cup of cold water.
He stared at Chris and said, "The Hell, Santa,”
"Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?"
But, you know, that Lord Chris was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little twit," the Great Lord lied,
"This tree seems to not be giving off any wi-fi."
"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my boi."
"I'll fix it up there. Then maybe I'll bring it back here."
And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted his head,
And he got him Chloroform and Chris carried him to bed.
And when Little Blastion was tossed onto his bed with a "ha-up!",
He went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!
Then the last thing he took Was the log for their fire!
Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.
And the one speck of food That he left in the house,
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.
Then He did the same thing To the other Heroes' houses
Leaving crumbs Much too small For the other mouses!
It was quarter past dawn... All the heroes, still a-bed,
All the heroes, still asnooze When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The bear-trappings!
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mt. Chris,
He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it!
"PoohPooh to the Heroes!" he was Chris-ly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Chris-mas is coming!"
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the Heroes down in Geneforce City will all cry BooHoo!"
"That's a noise," grinned Lord Chris, "That I simply MUST hear!"
So he paused. And Chris put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded angry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS angry! VERY!
He stared down at the City! Chris popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Hero down in Geneforce City, the tall and the small,
Was revolting! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped Chris-mas from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, they're revolting all the same!
And Chris, with his feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came with out weapons! It came without tags!"
"It came without bear-traps, tazers or bags!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then Chris thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Chris-mas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store."
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then? Well...in Geneforce City they say,
That the Chris's small heart Grew three hundred sizes that day,
then immediately shrank like 500 and collapsed into a black hole..
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He blew up the load WITH the bright morning sunlight,
And he melted the toys! And burned the food for the feast!
And he, HE HIMSELF! Chris ate the Snow beast!

Afterward, he was soon found by the heroes and beaten up,
and they made him pay for their Chris-mas.

_________________


  

“siht i furgot that wheres that bitch Sirloin when you need her”
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Luna
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